Tuesday, August 7, 2012

He Doesn't Owe Me Squat


May 8, 2012

In the days between January 25th (the afternoon I found out about STBX's- Soon T Be eX- infidelities) and April 2nd (when Peanut was born) I worried. A lot. To those of you who know me or read this blog, it should come as no surprise that I worried.

Throughout those weeks, I was so fearful about life. I felt certain that something would be wrong with my little Peanut. Colic. Birth defects. Stillbirth.

My brilliant therapist said it best, "If I were driving my car along a road and it felt a little off, I would think, 'No big deal. I'll stop by a mechanic's shop and have the engine looked at. This is a problem I can fix." Then, while driving to the mechanic's out of nowhere a MAC TRUCK plows into me. I would then think that life was unpredictable and scary." (Metaphorical genius, he is.)

That was exactly how I felt about life.

When I shared my concerns with many others they assured me, "Your baby will be just fine. He will be born healthy, happy, and beautiful. God wouldn't add any more difficulties to your life. He knows just how much you're dealing with."

And then, I would feel better. 'Of course. God loves me. He doesn't want hardship to come to me. He will protect Peanut. He wouldn't give me more to handle right now.' I would be smug and comforted by the thought until the fears would return.

One day I shared my fears with one of the most faith-filled women I know, who also happened to be a colleague. She looked me in the eye and told me that my worries could be true. Peanut might not be healthy. She shared, "God doesn't owe you anything, Ashley. You owe him everything, and for everything he gives you, you should rejoice and be thankful."

Owie.

Her words stung, but the more I thought about and prayed about them, the more I knew she was right. God doesn't owe anyone anything. He loves us and wants the best for us, sure.* But it is in hardship that many find faith or deepen their relationship with Him. Isn't that a blessing in itself?

It was only through her words that I gained true relief. Whatever happened to Peanut and me would be okay because we had a powerful, loving God who gave his son for us (and you). He doesn't owe me anything, so I should give thanks for everything.

Everything.

*I assume and hope based on the experiences of my faith journey. It seems awfully cocky to say I know what God is thinking.   

4 comments:

  1. God has interesting way of testing (not sure if that's the word I really want...) us, but we are so lucky at what he does give us! Glad you found comfort from such an good friend and her wise words.

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  2. As I have learned, God does work all things for good...but that's HIS good, not always ours. Like you said, He wants people to turn to Him, whatever it takes to draw them to that place. Turning to Him is the Good... Whatever He has to use to get us there. So glad Peanut IS healthy and you can praise God for that :)

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  3. Amen to Dawn's comment about God working things for His good, not ours. Thanks for your post, Ashley! After 3 years of searching for social studies teaching jobs and not getting anything, I have been annoyed (to say the least) with God, even though He's blessed me in so many ways. Your post reminded me to be careful about whining to God when I pray. The title alone is a poignant DAILY reminder that I need to put on the bathroom mirror or the door to the coffee cupboard. :)

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